Being a mother has been the most rewarding, challenging, fun, thought provoking, nerve wrecking, stress inducing, heart melting experience I’ve ever endured. Raising one adorable baby boy who I could never even imagine being upset with at the time was in all honesty a breeze. He was “zen” baby and did everything I said until his little sister came along this past July and I was outnumbered. Kareena was NOT zen baby at first. She was colicky, which we learning was due to a milk protein allergy. After I quit dairy, the roles in the house quickly switched and my newborn became my “zen” baby and Krish became a full blown toddler.
COME BACK NANA AND NANI!
My parents were with me over the summer, so it didn’t seem so bad. The difficulty and challenges of two under two didn’t set in until the literal moment my parents left, which was about a month ago (Krish is legit high pitch screaming as a write this). All of a sudden, I was home alone 4 days a week with two babies who both needed me at the exact same time. Krish wants his milk when he sees me nursing because Kareena is having milk. Or they both need to be held at the same time or else one will be crying. I like to think Krish is a “big boy”, but in reality, he is still a baby.
Krish majorly regressed. He fought his sleep at night for a weekend and wouldn’t nap in his crib for weeks. I would have to drive somewhere at nap time so he’d sleep in the car, but it was never a good enough nap, leaving me with a very cranky toddler. By Thursday, I want to pull my hair out and scream because the house is a wreck, everyone is crying, including me at times, and mama just needs a break. Krish finally slept in his crib for nap time again yesterday, nearly a month after he stopped! It was amazing and I got my little break <3
In those moments of stress, I stop, I breathe and tell myself that I will do something for me at the end of the day. I approach my children mindfully. Do I get angry and lose my patience? Of course, I’m human! But the moments are rare and I catch myself quickly. I remind myself to be the adult that I want my children to be.
In all honesty, there’s no way I could take care of everyone else without taking care of myself first. Face masking is one of my go to self care activities. I also like to read, catch up on a show or eat a treat. Those hours (sometimes literally an hour) I get to myself before bed time are so vital for a healthy, happy mommy. I attempted to wake up before the children for several weeks and was successful for a while, but the darker the mornings are, the harder its been to get out of bed. I know that if I can just wake up and get some alone time in the AM, it’ll make my day so much better!
I am slowly coming out of the fog and getting the hang of it. Krish is still majorly attached to mommy, but he is slowly starting to get used to his baby sister. He smacks her sometimes, but he also gives her a lot of kisses and love. I know having two kids 16 months apart now is hard, but it will be worth it in a couple years.
Raising two little ones is just about the hardest job I’ve ever had, but there are those moments when they remind you why you love it. When Kareena smiles up at me from her play mat, grinning from ear to ear. When Krish says Mama in the sweetest way. When he smiles at his sister proudly and says “baby sissy”. They truly are so sweet and make my heart melt on the daily. These kids are my world and worth all the sacrifices.