Krish is what I would call a really good kid. He eats when I want him to, goes down for his naps without a fight 99% of the time and sleeps from 8 pm to 7 am. His obedience allows me to be the best mom I can be because I get my beauty rest and it leaves me room for some me time. But then there are those days and nights where he refuses his naps, doesn’t want to eat anything I offer him and chooses to eat cheerios instead.
Yesterday was one of those days. Krish woke up at 3 AM and we put him back to bed. 10 minutes later, he was up again so I soothed him and let him cuddle on me. I found myself upset that he wasn’t letting me get my much needed sleep, thinking about how tired I would be that day. I thought about all the things I needed to do and wondered how I would get it done, but then I stopped those thoughts and realized, those things don’t matter. All that matters right now is Krish. Something is bothering him so much that he can’t sleep and he needs me right now.
So I held him close, kissed his head and let him drift off on my chest. He had a couple more crying episodes early that morning and continued his fussiness throughout the day and even though I was exhausted, I kept a positive, loving, happy energy. I could’ve easily been a grump and let my hormones and lack of sleep get the best of me, but one thing I’ve learned this last year is the energy I emit directly effects my son’s energy and mood. He was already a hot mess express, why add fuel to the fire. I was still able to get a couple things done, but didn’t put pressure on myself and Krish ended up going to bed pretty happy. What could’ve been a shitty day ended up being a not so bad day.
He did it again last night and was awake exactly at 3 AM, crying intermittently. (it wasn’t as dramatic as the night before) I don’t know what is bringing on this regression ( I’m assuming it’s a tooth), but I know that this too shall pass and too quickly at that.
These precious moments where he seriously needs me will come to an end sooner than I want and then I will miss the nights where he woke in the middle of the night to be held and kissed. So instead of missing it later and wishing I appreciated it more, I’ll appreciate it now. I’ll revel in the middle of the night cuddles as he holds onto me so tightly. I know I’m his world right now and I want to make sure he knows that he is mine.
We have to be selfless as mothers and sometimes I need to remind myself that. It’s not about MY sleep, it’s about HIS discomfort and lack of sleep.
All of this is just another part of mindful parenting. Being mindful of our thoughts, actions and attitudes towards our kids can effect their mood, attitude and our relationship overall. What we say, do, think and feel all matters!
So next time you’re having a difficult parenting moment—
Take a breath
remind yourself you are good enough
And… JUST BE.
Be present with your kids. Don’t worry about what needs to be done. Let the laundry sit on the floor and the dishes remain in the sink. Just hold them when they need you.
Take the moments, good and bad, as they come. Find the good in those challenging times. (I know its hard to find the good in a blowout, but they can bring out some laughs, right?)
This small, mindful shift in attitude can make the world of difference to our kids.