When you become a mom, it’s imperative that you make mom friends because you’ll go crazy if you don’t. We tend to naturally gravitate towards mothers near our age with children around the same age so that we can successfully arrange some play dates to get some adult interactions in the middle of the day. (Lord knows we need it so we don’t word vomit all over husband the minute he walks through the door). Most of these friendships are very superficial, not in a bad way, but in a very natural way. We mostly hang out with our kids for a couple hours in the middle of the day. A lot of the conversations revolve around what shows the kids are watching, how they are sleeping or not sleeping, the color of their poop etc. Rarely do we talk about that time we got drunk at a film festival and ended up leaning on a wall of wet paint, which in all honesty, is what I really want to talk about.
As we get older, it becomes harder to find true, deep friendships. I’ve been lucky enough to make some close friends in my adult life and even some that have turned from friend to mom friend, but I’d been in a rut and was yearning for a deep connection like the ones we have with our childhood friends. We yearn for that connection that we had as girls where we can just be our full selves without any walls or barriers. This is when we weren’t worries about being judged because these girls were like our sisters and they loved us regardless of our craziness. Most of my closest girlfriends from my childhood are not moms yet so its hard to share that part of myself hence why we need mom friends.
So what happens when you make a mom friend that you vibe with on a deeper level? Like when it’s so easy and natural that it feels like you’ve known each other since childhood.
That’s when you hold on tight to that mommy and you never let go.
I recently made a mom friend that I was sure I wanted to be more than mom friends with. I found it so easy to be my crazy self around her without any of the walls or judgements, but I wasn’t sure if the feeling was mutual UNTIL she asked me to do a wine night without the kids!
It felt like I was going on our first real date. I know this sounds silly, but if you’re a mom with a mom friend who’s so much more than that, then you get me right now. I went to her house after bed time. It had been forever since I left the house at night and I already felt adventurous. (The littlest things get us moms of babies so excited, right?)
When she let me in and we started filling our wine glasses, we were immediately giggling like little girls. The energy remained that way the rest of the night. We popped onto the couches, turned on Princess Diaries and talked about anything and everything. The rest is history.
When I got back into bed, I woke up Vijay and told him I met the one. He laughed, made some silly joke about me being weird (true though) and then went back to sleep. I laid in bed with a feeling I’ve known before, but hadn’t felt in a long time. I made a friend. Not a mom friend, but a real friend. A friend I could be silly with. Someone who wasn’t going to judge be for going to her house and opening her fridge or scolding her kids. She won’t judge me when Krish has worn the same outfit two days in a row or my sticker is still on my new shirt. I can text her six times in a row because I know she’s busy chasing after four little ones and only mentally responded to my text.
We all need this mom in our life and I urge you to manifest yourself a mom friend that you can be more than mom friends with.